Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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