she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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