if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I currently don't understand fingers.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
