i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
