I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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