Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize