How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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