JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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