Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
