I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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