Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
