at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
