bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
