I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
