Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
