hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
