They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
