ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
