how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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