it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
