Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
