I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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