Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
