So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
