i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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