They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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