Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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