the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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