This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
