if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
