She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can I color on your dick again?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
