Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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