we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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