I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
