Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
