You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
