I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize