Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
