Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
