she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize