And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
