Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize