Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize