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• (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  are you so shy because you have an std?

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• (650): View more from California

  Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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• (530): View more from California

  I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.

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• (716): View more from New York

  driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I forgot wine drunk hurts

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...

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