I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
