I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
