Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
