Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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