i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
