This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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