Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize