whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just gift wrapped bread.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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