I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
