so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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