For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
