You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
