The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
